So as some of you may know, and a lot of you had no idea, I have really been struggling with the task of trying for baby number two. I have been struggling with wanting another one probably since Naomi was 5 months old, which I know is crazy but oh well. I would get the urge on and off since then to be pregnant again, but it hasn't happened yet. These last three months have really been the hardest though. With Naomi turning one I feel rushed to get pregnant because we want them to be two years apart, and what if it takes longer and they are closer to three and all those fears and thoughts race through my mind. It was also really hard for me to see all my friends conceiving baby number two and I couldn't help but think why not me? So needless to say we have been trying for three months ,which I know for some is nothing because they have been trying for months even years ,but for me this is the most trying and emotionally draining thing I have ever been through. It’s hard for me to get pregnant on my own due to my PCOS anyways, but right now we really can’t afford the Metformin that helped me conceive Naomi so we have been trying without it. I was getting my period regularly for 2 months straight which was really exciting until last month, when I missed my period and I thought for sure I was pregnant, and I believed I was until this week when I tested again and the dreaded missing line showed again. It was a huge heartbreak, but I can’t stop living my life so I picked up all the pieces of my broken heart and hugged my daughter and found the joy in having her in my life. I am not sure why God has placed this huge desire in my heart for another baby and hasn’t blessed me with one yet, but I know there has to be a reason and I know that he wouldn’t put me through this through nothing. I know that the next one of my children will come down to me when he or she is ready but timing is everything right. Well I will just keep telling myself that and hopefully one day this trial will be over and we will have a new bundle of joy coming our way. Until then I will just love my daughter to pieces as I always do and keep trying to be the best wife, mother, and daughter of God I can be and leave the rest in God’s hands. Thank you to all my friends and family who have been there and supported me and my family we love you all and really couldn’t do it without you!
Love, Andrae Michelle
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