Heaven gets another angel baby 0:)

Aside from parents and coworkers no one had an idea that this week I was 11 weeks pregnant. We were getting ready to tell everyone with a cute announcement in a couple weeks, until one day everything changed. Up until this point every thing looked great we saw a heart beat at 6 weeks and I had all the pregnancy symptoms imaginable. We felt this was our miracle baby after the storm of loosing the other one in November. This one was even due in November the same time we lost the last one. We had such hope for this new life in me. The biggest miracle was I was not on any drugs to conceive, it was just a surprise. This week I started bleeding a little bit more than spotting so I decided to go get it checked out thinking it was probably something small, boy was I wrong! They did an ultrasound and found out the baby  had died 5 weeks earlier... 5 weeks i carried a dead baby! It measured only 6 weeks and a few days meaning it must have passd a few days after we saw the heart beat. I was heartbroken to say the least. Not only did I have to deal with raging Emotions that night I went through miscarriage labor. This is where your body contracts and you expel all the tissue, baby, and placenta. It's awful! I'm still not okay. I put make-upon today to hide my puffy eyes from crying so much. I put a smile on and pretended I was okay so no one would have to feel sorry for me, when in fact I am hurting physically and emotionally.  My biggest question is why are 2 of my babies gone? Anyone who knows me knows I would give a baby so much love and care. Why have they been taken away from me when there are so many other incapable mothers who could careless about thier babies. It's so frustrating!!! I guess the only thing to do now is fake it till I make it. Life doesn't stop for anything. This Mother's Day is going to hurt so bad! At least I have a loving daughter to help soften the blow. If you ask her where mommies baby is she will tell you with Jesus, such a sweet girl. My feelings are everywhere so I won't vent anymore but just know right now I am not okay, but with time this too will heal.

RIP angel baby #2